What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

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Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

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And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

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After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

What are your thoughts about Hulk Hogan at the Republican National Convention in support of Trump and ripping his shirt off? Did he exaggerate?

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Can you tell me something about yourself?

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

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Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

I am glad you enjoyed my pictures. Do you have any photos to share?

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

If my boyfriend watches porn, does it mean he doesn’t think I’m good enough? If I am good enough, why does he still watch? Am I not beautiful enough?

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Make Nazis afraid again!

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In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

How can someone feel more FTM when AMAB?

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

How can one learn to talk frankly?

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

How can someone express their love for a guy without using words? What are some actions that can convey love and care?

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)